I may have had a few drinks, but it doesn't give someone else the right to rape me

'James stole my innocence and my teenage years. I never deserved that,' says Jenna. Picture: Thinkstock Source: Supplied

THE MARYVILLE rape case is a story which has not only divided a small town in America, but a nation, the world and the media.

When a then-14-year-old Daisy Coleman went with a friend to an older boy's house, she had no reason to be scared. When the alcohol came out, she assumed she was consuming it in a safe place. But she wasn't. She was raped. She became alienated from friends and family. She was misunderstood, bullied, and blamed. She felt like she was alone in the world.

Things changed for Daisy when online hacker group Anonymous became involved in the case - now, it is being re-examined, and Daisy sees it as "a victory, not just for me, but for every girl".

Daisy Coleman (left) and accused rapist Matthew Barnett. Source: NewsComAu

And Daisy is right - cases like this are not uncommon, and they certainly don't just happen in America. Jenna* was also 14, growing up in an ordinary Australian suburb, when she found herself in a situation eerily similar to Daisy's. As the debate has been reignited this week around the relationship between alcohol and sexual assault, Jenna realised that she, too, has a voice.

This is her story.

It may contain content that is upsetting to some readers.

"It was supposed to be a normal Friday night for me and my best friend Cindy*. We were 14 and had just finished another week of school. I had packed my clothes that morning to stay at her house that night. As we finished school and caught the bus home Cindy started chatting to a guy who was a bit older than us. His name was James* and he was 19. She exchanged numbers with him and we decided to meet up with him and one of his other friends later on that evening.

"We waited for Cindy's parents to fall asleep and called the boys to come and pick us up. It was 1am. The boys arrived and Cindy and I climbed out of her bedroom window, jumped the fence and ran down the road to the car the boys were in. I had never had such a rush - I had never snuck out before and I had never met up with older boys. It all seemed fun and new and I felt like such a grown up, going out in the middle of the night to meet up with older boys. All the cool girls at my school were doing it and I was excited to be a part of the trend.

"Cindy and I got into the car with both the boys - Sam*, who was 18, and James. They drove for a while and when we arrived at Sam's house, we went out the back, put some music on and started drinking. I had about three drinks by the time James had asked everyone to go for a walk to meet someone. We all went, and that's when things went terribly wrong.

"Cindy and Sam walked rather slow and I didn't think much of it at the time, but then all of a sudden we were near a park and I just remember James grabbing me and trying to kiss me. I had only ever kissed one boy and I didn't really like it, it kind of scared me to be honest, so I told him to stop and that I didn't want to. Then he said to me, "You don't expect me to pick you up and buy you drinks and get nothing out of it, do you?" I remember turning around at that point to yell out to Cindy but she was gone, I couldn't see her or Sam anywhere.

"Next thing I knew we were in a struggle and he was trying to get me to the ground. I tried so hard to get away from his grip but he was double my size and he was so strong, there was nothing I could do. He pushed me to the ground.

By this point I was in tears and shaking, I was begging him to let me get up and go home, telling him I wouldn't tell anyone, but he didn't care. He dragged me by the hair to the back of the park, and put his hand over my mouth. I tried to bite it so many times but I couldn't. I tried to scream but nothing was coming out, then he pulled off my pants. The pain was unexplainable and it felt like it would never end. I was frozen with fear.

"Once it was over he threw my pants at me and told me to 'clean myself up and stop crying'; that I deserved it and should have just given it up in the first place. I remember just lying on the freezing cold wet grass in so much pain I thought I was never going to be able to get up. He made me get up though and walk back to the house as if nothing had happened. When we got back Cindy and Sam were asleep - she had no idea what had just gone on.

"James proceeded to go to sleep; I sat on a couch in the lounge and just sobbed until the sun came up. When Cindy woke up, the boys dropped us home, she asked how my night was and I was too ashamed to tell her, so I said 'fine', trying to hide the hurt in my eyes."

Protesters hold daisies at the Justice for Daisy rally in Maryville. Source: AP

After the rape, James pursued Jenna, forcing her to have sex with him again and telling her "if you don't, what happened to you will happen to Cindy". Scared because she didn't want Cindy to ever go through what she went through, Jenna thought she had no one to turn to.

James became increasingly abusive, but when he hit Jenna's mother after she tried to stage an intervention, she finally sought help.

"That's when I couldn't take it anymore. I ran down the road screaming for someone to call the police, and within five minutes they were there. He was arrested and I finally had the courage to put a restraining order on him.

"James did go to jail and fade away out of my life, but the emotional damage was done. I could barely sleep and I had stopped eating. I turned to drugs and alcohol. I was admitted to hospital with anorexia. My battle had only just begun.

"I felt like I had nothing left, this man had taken so much from me. I would never know what it was like to lose your virginity to someone you cared about. At this stage all sex was to me was horrible, and demeaning.

"James stole my innocence and my teenage years. I never deserved any of that to happen to me, and after years of therapy I can finally say that I was never the sick one and I was never in the wrong.

"It's disgusting that girls can't go out and have a few drinks without having to watch their back. I may have had a few drinks that night, but it doesn't give someone else the right to rape me.

"James almost killed me, mentally and physically, but I can hold my head high and know that I am strong and I'm going to be just fine.

"Anyone out there going through abuse, speak up - you will never understand how many people are willing to help you get out of that situation until you ask! No one deserves to be abused, everyone deserves to feel loved and special."